Things We Hate

"Hate" is a strong word, and we use it very conservatively, but after a birthday party we recently attended, we have felt a need to explore the emotion. We polled the entire staff and compiled a quick list of things we hate. These answers were most common:

5. Mayonnaise
4. Bug Bites
3. Waiting til marriage
2. Pink-polo Guy -- You know him, he's a close relative of Striped-shirt guy, and also a member of Team Hair Gel.
1. The boyfriend of the girl in the red dress -- We think her name was Joy, and she smiled, danced and sang her way into our hearts. Equipped with a body sent from the heavens (her ankles were exquisite), cynicism-melting eyes, and the kind of uninhibited spirit that makes us swoon, she has left us enchanted. Too often the girls we meet are either shy or sluts, and while we do enjoy a good slut (who doesn't), they never make our hearts go pitter-patter, the way Joy? does. As we were dancing with her, we were getting too close and her smiles were lasting to long, because her voyeur boyfriend swooped in, whispered a not-so-sweet nothing in her ear, and like that she was gone. So to the girl in the red dress, you will always have our heart, and to your boyfriend, you're a cunt.

Also receiving votes: math, UNC, last-call, Manchester United, menstruation, severe weather warnings during the game, Jay-Z