A Gentleman's Toolbox

Today we present the "Fake Text Message." The FTM, is essential when wanting to "conveniently" put yourself in the path of an attractive member of the opposite sex, and not come across like you meant to. It is a staple of ours, in fact it is directly responsible for our date scheduled for tonight, and we feel obliged to share it with you. Here's how it works:

You've determined your target but thanks to desk placement at work, a cock-blocking wedding reception seating chart, pack of angry-looking friends at the bar, etc. you've failed at smoothly wedging you're way into their attention. You've already caught their eye a time-or-two, or better yet a had a conversation at some point in the past, so he/she knows you exist (this is important). It's time to start predicting movement- Perhaps they always take a coffee break at a certain time, or maybe they're gathering items (ie a purse) around them with an eye on the restroom -- when you feel that movement is immanent, jump their move and quickly wander over to a spot their path will lead them to. Now take out your cell phone and start pretending to be typing a text message. Hopefully you've selected a spot where you will be the only distraction to their destination. As they approach peek up from your text, look pleasantly surprised to see them + smile, and start-up a quick conversation (remember they already know you exist, you can move beyond a simple greeting). They will think that not only are you popular, you must be, someone is texting you, but also that some mystic-love-fate has made your paths cross. Wrap-up your quick conversation with an assertion that you'll talk to them later, and when you do so, ask them out.