Tonight we raise a half-empty bottle of JD in honor of Winston Churchill. Sure his racist and imperialist policies towards developing nations served as a catalyst for much of the problems The West has had with the Third World, specifically Iran, but damn that pudgy little bastard could drink.
No longer having cable TV, we watched a PBS documentary the other night called Chasing Churchill, and it was pretty sweet. What a fascinating dude, and we're certain he did his fair share of drinking alone.
Born to a British father (no doubt where he got his teeth) and an American mother (no doubt where he got his weight), his younger days were filled with audacious adventures and hobnobbing about with the likes of William Randolph Hearst and Charlie Chaplin. His latter years filled with fighting much of the British establishment, dueling Hitler, challenging FDR to pissing contests, and delivering impassioned speeches that included famous lines such as, "Without Victory, there is no survival," and of course the immortal:
Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, This was their finest hour.
But what impressed us most about the fat little fellow was his liver. He was a known drunk who regularly enjoyed a bourbon or two before breakfast, and his quip to the Lady Bessie Braddock after she called him a drunk is legendary, "And you, madam, are ugly. But I will be sober in the morning." Churchill was one of the original dirtbags.
So Cheers, Church, may we accomplish half of what you accomplished drunk, while we're sober.
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