We didn't expect things to get stranger, and by stranger we mean creepy, between us and Star(e)ica, but they did today. Thankfully it wasn't of the sexual nature, but it's still freaking us out.
So it's mid-morning and she calls us into her office and tells us to close the door and have a seat. At previous jobs this is when we start thinking about how best we can ridicule and mock the company and its employees in a quick, last-second mass email, before we're escorted out, because we're about to be handed our walking papers, but this time all we could think of was what horrendous sex-act Star(e)ica was about to force us to perform on her. To our surprise however, she remained clothed and asked us this:
"I really feel weird about asking this, but you fellas are young and fun, would you sell me some pot?"
There are many questions here- Do we look/act like people who smoke marijuana? Do we give off the impression that we would sell marijuana? How the hell is that question appropriate in the workplace? What the fuck should we do?
All these questions and more were racing through our heads, but mostly we were just relieved she wasn't requesting an Angry Dragon, Tony Danza, Birmingham Booty-Call, etc. We just laughed nervously and gave her the ambiguous, "We'll see what we can do."
5 comments:
maybe you should introduce Star?ca to The Dude...
nothing like just passing it on and keeping things cordial at work
I concur. The only way this ends happily, is if you pass her along. Invite her along to a night out with the boys. Introduce Star(ica) to the most hard up dude in your crew, and vanish.
It's quite obvious Star(ica) needs to get laid. It really doesn't matter who does the deed, as long as she gets the tubesteak at the end of the night. Hard up dude will be forever grateful to you, and will think you are a stud. Work situation will dramatically improve as, said boss, will finally be getting some action and cease her unwanted sexual advance on you.
Can you please include a photo of Star(ica), or at least rate her from 1 - 10, using the Latin American scale? Only then can I advise you of your binary decision: Hit It / Don't Hit It.
Problem is, we're usually the most "hard up" dudes at any social gathering.
We're also wary of snapping a photo, since she'll no doubt get the wrong impression...she's a 2.
She's a 2 on the latin american scale!!!! By all means hit that shit. Anything above a 1 is fair game.
Beggers can't be choosers.
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