Sexually Harassed

As many of you know, we have long had trouble with authority figures. It's long been a bit of a mystery to us -- we're not your classic troublemakers. In-fact we've never really been able to pinpoint the exact reasoning for our inability to peacefully coexist with anyone who gives us orders.

We've now been employed at our latest stop for one month, and unfortunately once again, problems with our supervisor are starting to arise. This time however, instead of hostility coming about do to our less-than-stellar work decorum, or because of an alpha-male pissing contest, we've got something totally new. Our manager, for reasons of anonymity, we'll call her Star(e)ica, is our first boss to be both female and less than ten years older than us. To date, Star(e)ica is the nicest boss we've ever had, but last week we started to understand that the goodwill she's showing us might not be because of our talent and work ethic, but rather because she has a serious Jones for us. Here's some examples:

On Monday morning, while we stood facing the copier, she goosed us while walking past. Startled, as we are not accustomed to having our ass grabbed that early in the day, we shot her a wide-eyed glance -- she responded with a creepy, "I think I hurt my hand look+gesture." Flattered, yes, but concerned.

Wednesday, when we first began our courtship of the new nubile receptionist, Star(e)ica took notice, pulled us aside and immediately reported that she had a boyfriend and would be going back to college any day. We responded that we wouldn't hold the boyfriend thing against her, and were still interested in letting her go out on a date with us. Frustrated, Star(e)ica said, "Well I guess the best looking guys this office has ever seen should go out with a hot young girl." We couldn't have agreed more with her, but still coming from the person that signs your time card is eyebrow raising.

Thursday night we received a Facebook friend request from Star(e)ica. Wishing we could keep her from gawking at our online profile, but feeling obliged to accept, we relented and became online friends. Before the night was up, we had a picture comment waiting for us from her. It was a very tame picture, of us at a concert, but it now had a comment from our boss reading, "You guys look hot in this one." Ummmm, we erased it.

Friday, talking to Star(e)ica, after being asked the perfunctory, "What are you doing this weekend?" we felt obliged to reciprocate. Her answer, "I don't know, but I need to buy a new vibrator."

We don't know what to do. We're not attracted to her in the least, so nailing her is out of the question. And we're not sure how long we can play dumb to her advances, eventually her not-so-subtle moves are bound to get more pronounced (Lord help us).

Have any of you been sexually harassed by a coworker or supervisor? If so, how did you handle it?