Drinking Alone - Warning

Alcohol related advice so good, that if you take heed, you won't need anyone else around to enjoy the experience... You can even be alone in your parents house, where you are "temporarily" living, while you "save money."

If you value your health and don't want to have the shakes for 24 hours don't drink this:

Now there was a time when sugar + caffeine + yellow no. 5 + corn syrup + 7.0% alcohol, was a barrel of fun. You know, the days of exposing yourself to buses full of elderly timeshare shoppers, the days of ripping down ceiling fans, the days of showing up to work with a subtle tint of green in your skin and then throwing up in your trash receptacle, and of-course the days of showing up to work bleeding because you can't get the two inch gash on your hand to stop bleeding after you punched out that front window for no other reason than you had had some Sparks and it felt like the right thing to do.

Well those days are gone for us. We had about a third of a Sparks, for old-time sake, last night and it ruined us.

We're not really sure why this shit is legal and we recommend against it's purchase, but if you do buy some, like if you need to read A Tale of Two Cities in five minutes or if you want to run a 4.4 forty yard sprint, pour it into a glass first. Watching the yellowish elixir eat away at the glass is pretty fun.