Words of Wisdom

Don't shave your pubes. Simple as that.

In yet another example of how our lives have followed different episodes of Seinfeld, we got a little adventurous with the razor over the weekend. It started out as a simple afternoon shower but somehow turned into an expression of modern art.

We set out to simply shave a bit off the cheeks (facial) and before too long we had visions of turning our undercarriage into something resembling a tropical plant. In retrospect we're not really sure what gripped us to do this, perhaps in the words of our old friend, Wolfram -- "It'll give you a half an inch." -- and we were preparing for a date...

Not being very hairy, we quickly gave up on thoughts of tropical foliage, and our ultimate dream of some kind of "Sideshow Bob" impersonation. Instead we turned our hopes on some Mickey Mouse Ears, to compliment our junk.

Upon first inspection we were pretty pleased, and found that the looooooong droopy nose complimented the ears rather well, but now three days later, we are ruing the day. Holy shit!!! We've got more razor burn than a fire at the Bic warehouse, and each step we take feels like there's sandpaper in our pants.

We give it up to you ladies that go with the, open-faced ham sandwich look. We don't know how you do it.