These Pretzels are Making Us Thirsty!!!

As we begin our fifth month (Can you fucking believe it!!!) here at The NLNC, we'd like to bring to light a landmark event that occurred this morning.

You know that guy who thinks he's ridiculously funny because he's clever enough to drop famous movie and TV lines at somewhat opportune times? Well around the office, we're those guys...kind of. We've taken Thinks He's Funny Quote Guy's lead, and regularly whip movie and TV lines into business conversation, however we've added a new twist -- we like to throw out obscure quotes that really have very little to do with the context. For instance:

If someone walks into a meeting late, we'll blurt out in our best Gob Booth voice, "THE AZTEC TOMB!!!"

When we're in a Lebowski mood and someone asks us a simple question, we'll reply with a simple, "He fixes the cable." Or sometimes a subtle, "You mean coitus?"

As the FEDEX guy leaves each day, we'll bring it oldschool with a little Clerks action and shout, "TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICK ON YOUR WAY THROUGH THE PARKING LOT!!!"

Well as you can probably imagine no one else really gets it. As we're hunched over in the corner, clutching our sides, and laughing uncontrollably, the rest of the office usually just looks confused and mumble things such as, "What are they even doing in here?"

So today was a watershed moment, because someone finally got one of our quotes!!! We were in a meeting full of clients, and said clients were wearing name tags with not just their names but also their companies and titles. This one dude, was from a defense company or some shit, and his title was "Scientist." Just "Scientist!!!" What luck!!! As we picked ourselves off the floor and tried to stop laughing, Half Baked quotes began to rush into our minds. Which would we choose?

We could walk up to him, introduce ourselves, and then when his name was given, yell out, "AbbaZabba your our Only Friend!!" A part of us just wanted to start rattling off, "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, You're cool...we're out." In the end, we were so excited we just asked loudly (in accent of course)to no one in particular, "WHAT PAAAAART OF JAMAICA?"

You could've heard a pin drop...until off in the distance this homely youngish Indian woman gave a resounding (well kind of, she came over a mumbled to us), "Right near the beach...Boyeeeee!" We pointed to "Scientist's" name tag, and she asked if we were "Janitor."

We think we're in love...B!