He Shoots!!! He Scores!!! He Has STDs!?!? (huh)

Greetings and salutations to the NLNC blog. Let me start with thanking the guys that run this thing for the opportunity to express myself. That being said, I feel you, the readers, are not getting the entire scoop about the author(s) of this here site. Yes, we all know that they are trendy dressers, talented dancers and well-versed in international politics; but did you know about their hated arch nemesis? No, I didn't think so, and if you the readers are to know the real NLNC, you should see it from other angles. This requires a little background info for the set-up, so please pull up a chair, grab your bong and try not to zone out to the Saved by the Bell episode in the background. (The one where Johnny Dakota comes to Bayside and smokes a doobie in the restroom is classic! Too bad, he never drilled Kapowski.)

Here goes...
My memory gets a little hazy; but I believe this is late 2006/early 07. Our heroic future author(s) have apparently just reunited with a girl they vaguely knew from high school. I remember these guys calling us and telling us about this blond enchantress that could be "the one." As I listened to her positive qualities rattled off in succession, I was just waiting for the baggage to unveil itself. Well it did, and it was in the form of a full Louis Vuitton 12 piece set. Apparently the leggy vixen had a seven-year-old son and had recently become unengaged. Ouch! Now our fearless bloggers were okay with all this and their romance blossomed for over a month. Bodily fluids were exchanged; weekends in San Antonio were filled with snuggling, walks along the river and I'm assuming voluminous quantities of Tex-Mex cuisine (what the hell else is there to do in SA? shank someone, i suppose). Then out of nowhere, she bolts and goes AWOL. Our blog editor(s) are dumbfounded, "Where could she be?" "Did we really knock her up?" "Are we having a ginger kid?" All sorts of queries were permeating throughout their over-analytical, 15-year-old girl (between the Timberlake, the Potter, and the incessant she loves us/she loves us not) minds. She resurfaced a few days later and unbeknownst to him, it looked as if they would be parting ways. What went wrong, you may be asking..Well, it's easy to explain...Because a sweet, badass dude named Mike Green was back in the picture (the ex fiance) and the authors of this blog, are NO MIKE GREEN!!

99% of you all are asking, "Who the fuck is Mike Green?" Fair question, I wasn't even familiar with the legendary Mike Green, and I'm the biggest (only) hockey fan in Texas. Well, here's some info...Mike Green (born October 23, 1979 in Victoria, British Columbia) is a Canadian ice hockey player, who played in 2007 for the Hannover Scorpions in the Deutsche Eishockey-Liga (Yes ice hockey is eishhockey in Germany, fucking Germans). And no, he's not the famous Mike Green of hockey, he's the other one. Kind of like the other Adrian Peterson that plays RB for the Chicago Bears. In his heydey, he competed in a grand total of 24 NHL Hockey games split between the Florida Panthers and New York Rangers. He scored one career goal, had three assists, and collected four penalty minutes.

So let's get this straight. Some hot, buxom blond was deciding between the other Mike Green and the guy(s) that keep this blog? Tough call, I wonder who she eventually went with?..

http://doskiwis.blogspot.com/2007/07/denay-mike.html

Well, did she make the right decision? Other than the (alleged) rampant infidelity, Mike Green's a total keeper!! However, I will give the bloggers here this bit of credit.....Apparently their revenge-fucking abilities are off the charts!! Let's just say I believe there was a late June 07 rendezvous that left someone having second thoughts at the altar...Then again, I shudder to think about the types of step-dads these authors would have been to young Paco...Que pobrecito nino!

Stay tuned for more updates on the 5'11 Mike Green, his 195 pounds of pure brawn, and his trials and tribulations of competing for the EHC Wolfsburg Grizzly Adams (no shit, that is the team name) in the Deutsche Eishockey League for 2008-09. Hey, does anyone know if Mike Green has a blog? I bet he does. And if so, his Uber-blog would unequivocally kick the shit out of this one after checking it into the boards.....That would be sweet!! GOOOAALLLLL!!!!