A NLNC Play - Opportunity Knocks

Below is a loose interpretation of actual events. Here is the cast of characters:

The roles of Co-worker and NLNC Conscience are played by - Opportunity
The role of the NLNC is played by - Us
The role of Mom is played by - Mom

Setting: Alone in their room, sitting in their handcrafted rocking chair and enjoying a quiet summer eve at home, The NLNC is reading Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls, when suddenly there's a knock at the front door.

NLNC - Hark! Who raps upon our door?
Opportunity - It is I, Opportunity.
NLNC - What doth thou want?
Opportunity - Thy comes with an offer, an offer that will pleasure thee(s) eyes and thee(s) touch.
NLNC rises, walks to the door and opens it
NLNC - Speak forth, out with thy proposition.
Mom - Who's at the door?!?!?!
NLNC turns back towards the inside of the home.
NLNC - Sir Opportunity has cometh to offer something.
Mom - You're letting out the AC, and why are you talking like that?
NLNC turns back towards Opportunity
NLNC - Pay no attention to the old woman, good sir. Now commence with thine words.
Opportunity - There is a fair maiden who fancies thee(s), and I reckon thou should asketh her out. For if thou did, she would certainly say I.
NLNC - Who be this fair maiden.
Opportunity - Why it is SpArielle, the nubile daughter of one of thou's supervisors at the mill.
NLNC - Glory be to thee!!! Her beauty brings a fire to our loins and a rise to our...uhh, "spirit." What be-eth her digits?
NLNC grabs cell phone from pocket
NLNC - Mom!!!! Meatloaf!!!
Mom - Close the door!!!
Opportunity -Wait, good man! and lower thou, uhhh "spirit." For yes, SpArielle, with her brililliant smile, lithe figure and skin of chocolate, is full of beauty--but involvement with her does not come without risk. For yes, she is of legal age, but just barely, and the mill is a small place, and even though the maiden's mother is downeth with thee(s) now, knowing thou's track record with the fairer sex, it is of good chance, nay it is certain, that this will all end badly. For all parties involved.
NLNC - Sorry, what were you saying? We were having problems getting the "contacts" screen up on our phone. What's her number?

And Scene