Hitting for the cycle is one of the greatest feats in baseball. Since some of our readers are from countries that don't play baseball, and some might be US residents without much knowledge of America's pastime, hitting for the cycle means that within one game a single player hits a single, a double, a triple, and a home run. When it happens it's a big deal because it so rarely happens. In a typical game a batter usually only gets four chances to hit, and since a good batter only reaches base safely at a rate of 30%, just getting four hits in a game is pretty damn impressive, much less getting each of the possible types of hits. (OK file that bit of knowledge away.)
Save for workplace drug deals, our Summer has been rather tame. We haven't gone on any trips, we haven't fallen in love, we haven't gotten a haircut. Our only goal for the Summer was to have sex with a black girl. It is now the middle of August and Nubian coitus has escaped us. We are getting nervous.
We have kissed two, one at a club and one at her doorstep saying goodnight after a date, but for reasons unknown to us we've been unable to go further. Perhaps we've built it up too big in our minds and we've tightened up at crucial moments, perhaps they've been offended by our constant stream for racist jokes, or maybe they've been put-off by the pen and note pad titled "Blog Stuff" that we're always scribbling on while they're speaking. Who knows.
We've got a second date coming up with our co-worker's daughter this weekend. She is very young and very very hot, and she seems to like us, but there are some definite red flags (that will probably be discussed later). We are feeling the pressure.
We've nailed white girls, Hispanic girls, and Asian girls, but the black girl remains our White Whale. To go back to the Cycle analogy from the top -- white girls are like the single, by far the easiest (especially if they hate their dad), Hispanic girls are the double, living in Texas and having traveled throughout much of Latin America they're always available and tend to like our blue eye/green eye thing, the Asians are of course the home run, no real explanation needed there, and then the black girl is the triple, by far the hardest of the hits to get in baseball.
So it's the bottom of the ninth and we've got our single, double and homer. And to make things worse, Lee Smith is pitching.
To be continued...(maybe)
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4 comments:
nice analogy. well written.
but... you're pathetic.
1) Glad you are setting goals. Makes me think maybe you aren't such a loser.
2) I think it isn't really a triple. More like a balk. Actually, maybe it is less than a balk, because you probably don't even want it in the boxscore. But if you really want to do it....
3) Get this done in Brazil. You can get the white, black, Native American and Japanese done in one tour. It's easy pickings, and good quality.
4) What about trannies? Aren't they on your list?
Hey, we've been called many disparaging things -- pathetic (see above), faggots, racists, cocky punks, big-dicked bastards, etc., and never really thought much of it, but we will not stand for being called "losers."
Sure we live in our mom's basement, and yeah, we might only make $10/hr and only have about five friends, but we are no losers.
Good day, anonymous!!!
Once you go black you never go back. There are many advantages to doing black chicks, namely:
1. Great natural racks. Soft and usually ginormous tits. If you get them young, their tits will defy gravity as well as your mind.
2. Big asses. When your doing them doggystyle you don't have to worry about going to hard. Just pound away.
3. Low expectations. Their normal date usually consists of their "date" taking them to Popeyes chicken and then proceding to grope them in the backseat of the car. Therefore if you take them to KFC, consider it a slam dunk.
4. Easily orgasim. It's a proven fact that black chicks orgasim easier then white, hispanic, or asian chicks. If you can manage to hold your nut more then 5 minutes they'll think you are a god.
5. Highly experienced. They've usually been doing it since they hit puberty, so forget about all that awkward sex and inhibitions. Black chicks are some of the horniest chicks around.
I could think of more reasons, but I think you get the point.
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